I had a quick nap, and woke up fully knowing that I lost Miss Social. Was a gut feeling, and I made sure to log off MFC before things really got brutal. I knew and anticipated that the 2nd place would take a huge lead in the end due to the circumstances of the evening, and I truly wish to offer out my congratulations to her. She is a beautiful girl and I’m sure she’ll represent Playboy in an awesome way.

However, I’ve seen a lot of messages from my boys that concern me – messages that are apologizing for “losing it” for me, for not getting enough votes or helping out enough. I felt I needed to post here to not only set you guys straight, but set the record straight. You guys hauled ass, and deserve to know that it wasn’t because of you that I lost. You guys have supported me more than I could have dreamed. Between the votes, the moral support and the cheering on throughout the 21 hours I was actively competing, I am totally blown away by everyone’s support. Thank you to everyone for fighting the good fight for me!

As a lot of you know, things took a nasty turn last night in the competition when one of the other competitors stumbled upon my MFC chat room where I was hanging out and rallying for votes. She felt that my being naked was against the rules, so rather than just take it up with the organizers of the contest, she went ahead to record me naked on her cell phone, harass me in my public chat telling me that I didn’t deserve to win, sent me nasty PM’s on Facebook, and went on to publically bash me on not only the main Miss Social page, but a few other contestants Facebook pages as well. Her actions spawned a verbal riot on several pages that consisted of belittling me, degrading me, bashing me and insulting my character – simply because I get naked for a living, and got a BIT naked during my time on MFC. While yes, I was violating the rules as I later found out (was a complete misunderstanding between myself and one of the PB MS people that was cleared up and I was given full support to continue the competition by the organizer), it still was taken to a level that involved severe judgement from those involved in the competition, and the way people conducted themselves in regards to me and my job was nothing short of disappointing. I still can’t believe that in this day and age, nudity is so frowned upon. It blows my mind that those who are supporting a company like Playboy, can still have prejudices over people that take off their clothing. I was called a whore, a disgrace, an insult to the competition, unclassy and unfit to wear the title, and trashy – all because I was taking my clothes off on a webcam. For the record, there were a few Miss Social contestants doing the same thing throughout the contest on Playboy Live, but since I have a bigger platform on MFC, I guess it warrants extra attention and ridicule.

I’m not here to play the victim, or complain about what was said about me – everyone is entitled to their opinion, as unfortunate as it is- but I think its completely unfair and hypocritical to call a woman trashy simply because she takes a shower on a webcam. Its not like I was stuffing dildos up my snatch, or squirting all over the place – the most that was seen last nite was me taking a shower so I could wake up (21 straight hours on cam will exhaust ANYONE). Yes I was topless for a good portion of the night. I was rarely even nude though, and if you were in my room at all, you can vouch for that because it was every .04 seconds that people were begging for “pussy bb” lol. But Playboy is successful for celebrating the female form and the magazines history has made it possible for women like me to make a living with my body and sex appeal. Everyone who’s graced the pages of Playboy has made a living using their sexuality and nudity, and lets face it – the medium of Playboy and the medium of my webcamming is NO different – its ALL a masturbatory aid for men. To those who were bashing me – if you were to win Miss Social, or go on to do a full set in Playboy – do you not realize that you would be bating material to the gentlemen who looked at your photos? Isn’t it kind of hypocritical and WRONG to judge someone for getting naked for a living, when what you aspire to do is to grace the pages of the biggest nudie magazine in the world?

So to the guys, I want you to know that you didn’t lose the competition for me. In the end, alot of the haters ended up getting together to use their votes for the winner, and got their fanbases to vote for the winner as well. They made sure that an “unclassy” girl like me didn’t win the competition. I knew as soon as I saw the group get together to annihilate me, that it was over. They didn’t want me to win, and at this point, I’m glad I didn’t win because I don’t think I could have enjoyed the prize knowing that what would be likely to follow would be more ridicule, judgement and verbal bashing. While again, I have no problem with the winner because she DID exude nothing but class and I never saw her partake on the cruel and unwarranted behaviour that took place, her supporters most certainly lacked any sense of class and moral compass. Treating others like they’re less than worthy because of the choices they make is wrong, and verbally harassing and assaulting others is something the world so badly needs to stop doing. Whether I was violating the rules or not, that should have remained between myself and the Miss Social co-ordinators (and again like I said, I talked with the event organizer and she gave me her full support to keep in the competition and told me not only that she thought I did an amazing job, but that she supports and loves the camgirls that broadcast on Playboy Live)

So in the end, I lost the competition, but I’ve seen support like no other. Thank you to everyone for your support, and thank you for being such awesome people. Congrats again to the winner, and to the rest of the haters, all I can say is that I feel sorry for you. I hope you all can go on to do great things, but I hope you can go on to do those great things while treating people with respect. Its a sad world to live in if others can’t live their lives without that kind of hate being thrown on them.

Well now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I can move on and hopefully be free from any more drama. You all know I’m a level headed girl and there’s nothing I try to avoid more than drama! I’m going to hopefully get some more sleep, get some food and try to enjoy a quiet evening at home. Gotta unwind, ya know? I’ll begin going through my emails tomorrow, and sending out thank you’s to everyone who voted!

I’ve been avoiding posting here because right now life is holding too much negativity, and I hate adding negative blog posts to my blog for you guys to read. But then, I’ve never really held back and I try to be 100% real, so maybe venting is a good thing.

As most of you know by now, I was hospitalized on the weekend. Thank you for your emails, mfc mails and tweets of concern. I’ve kept this under wraps, because I don’t feel that talking about my health issues is something that pertains to my job as a camwhore, but since its now taken me “out of the game”, I guess you guys should know whats up. I’ve had recurring stomach problems for nearly exactly two years now…randomly I’ll get hit with nausea, vomiting, stomach pain…its random, comes out of nowhere and can last days, for no apparent reason. I’ve medicated myself with over the counter meds in the past, and they’ve worked ok when needed. Last week though, was pure hell. If you were in my chatroom the nite I had my meltdown, you would have heard me say that I spent all day being sick, which was day 1 in my now 7-8 days of illness that I’ve been struggling with. It progressively got worse, to the point where my medication wasn’t working anymore, and I wasn’t able to even leave the washroom because I was getting ill so often. I ended up being taken to a clinic in my city, they hooked me up to IV to replenish my fluids, and tried some chemo-strength anti-nauseants, which helped a bit and so they sent me home. I was ok for most of that afternoon until I took my first dose of prescription meds that they gave me, and found myself shaking, vomiting, and passing out. So I was taken to a different hospital ER where they admitted me for testing and to get my body healthy. I’ve been here a few days now, my fluids are good to go, well hydrated…still not eating a ton though and I’ve lost some weight (to you haters out there, rejoice lol) They’ve been trying every medication they can give me (I have severe allergies to a few meds), everything from the best and newest anti nauseants, to anti-psychotics, in an attempt to control my stomach. Nothing has really seemed to work for me, so they’re going to try to figure out whats ailing me. They’re baffled to say the least. I’m hoping to be released soon, because I am feeling a bit stronger than I was before (not dehydrated anymore and they’ve been giving me nutritional supplements) but I still have a lot of testing coming up – upper G.I. test on Tuesday, Catscan later next week, stomach scope toward the end of the month etc. I’m hoping to feel strong enough to get on cam to try to make some tokenage, but I can’t make any guarantees. But please guys – if you pray, please pray for me. Everyone else, please send me your healthy vibes. I’ve hit my wall with my health and I”m tired of fighting my body to be healthy.

In the meantime though, the Miss Playboy Social contest is still going and we’re nearly in the finals! I want to thank everyone who’s voted for me, tweeted my links and spread the word! Once we’re in the finals, STOP VOTING. lol. Its of utmost importants to SAVE YOUR VOTES FOR THE FINAL. Once we’re in the finals, I’ll be posting instructions on our gameplan for the rest of the month, as well as offer extra incentives to voters, so check back here in a few days! I really really want to win this – this would be a dream come true so if you can do ANYTHING to help out (vote, RT, get your friends to help out etc) I would REALLY appreciate it!

link to vote/retweet/spread around- http://apps.facebook.com/playboymisssocial/media/11852
(spice category, name is Ashleigh Smith)

I’m gonna peace out for now, please keep me in your thoughts and hopefully I’ll be seeing you soon!