k those are my last three. I won’t say which one I’m leaning towards, but one of them I’m not sure if its really an option since the dress pretty much requires me to wear heels and since I’m going to be shooting the wedding (ie. working all day), I’d rather wear something more comfy than heels. :/ Thoughts?

Blarg. Nuff said.

I keep getting spammy comments on my blog. Like viagara and valium and NHL jersey shite. Whyyyy? lol. So irritating having to go through them every day. Boo. Anyways. I wasn’t able to order the dresses The black one that I was in lurv with ended up selling out of my size I’m so bummed Its getting super close now to the date so online ordering might be too risky. Especially if I need to make a return, so I might just go to the mall next week and see what I can find. A few guys were asking if they could send me a GC to help pay for the dress, but since I’m shopping at the mall, I don’t think its possible. Thanks so much for the offer guys!!! I might need help with accessories though, so once I buy my dress, I’ll figure out what shoes/bag/jewellery I need and if I find something sexy on amazon, I’ll add it to my list.

I want to apologize for being m.i.a. the last few days. Unfortunately, with summer quickly approaching, my day job is getting busier and commanding more of my attention. I’ll try to be around as much as I can though…I miss you guys! Oh and a special congrats to pika and davrem for winning my pic contest the other nite! Anyhoo thats it for today. I’ll be on cam tonite allllllllllllllllllllllllllll nite

Ok I narrowed it down to a few dresses:

I need your vote!

1) I eat vegetables with every meal. I’m almost OCD about it. I have to have veggies in every dish, otherwise I freak out and won’t eat it. Even my ramen noodles have to have peas and corn in it. And if I go a day without eating a tomato, I get scared that cancer is invading my body.

2) One of my biggest pet peeves is Anthony Sedlacks voice. He sounds like he’s talking with a cock in his mouth. Drives me nuts…if blowjobs could talk, that’s what they’d sound like. (if you don’t know who he is, he’s a Food Network chef)

3) I was born a month and a half premature and was born with a very rare blood type that was a mix of both of my parents. Apparantly its so rare that most blood banks barely carry any of it, so they gave me blood transfusions right after I was born to make me my dads blood type, which is A neg.

4) I think Dermot Mulroney’s voice is the hottest voice ever. If I could fuck his vocal cords, I would. But since I can’t, I’ll settle for fucking his peen.

5) Mayo grosses me out. I hate it. In fact, I don’t even know why its in my fridge, because I never use it. Its been sitting there for almost eight months and hasn’t been touched once. Yet I feel that I need it in my fridge…I should toss it eh?

6) For some reason, I’m attracted to gay men. I don’t know what it is. I would totally boink Johnny Weir, Perez Hilton, and Adam Lambert….far more than I would feel inclined to boink Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Ryan Reynolds or Rob Pattinson. What does that mean? Doesn’t mean I’m lesbian because they’re men and not women…but does that mean I wish I was a gay guy too?!

7) I was chunky and ugly in highschool. I get Facebook messages from guys from highschool all the time saying “jeez you’re so hot now!” ….like thanks guys. Pointing out that I used to be fug is not going to make me go “awww”. Losers.

8 ) There is only one person in the world who can make me laugh when I’m mad or sad. That person is my younger brother Jay. He’s ten months younger than me, and he’s the biggest dumbass I know, but he always makes me laugh. He’s the kind of unintentional funny too. He never really tries to make people laugh, but he’s so dumb that its just natural to laugh. That sounds mean, but his idiocy is one of his best qualities.

9) I’m addicted to Blistex lip chap. I’ve used it every single day since I was 12. My mom started my addiction by putting some in my Christmas stocking one year, and after that first jar of it, I had to keep using it. I’ve read articles saying that its actually addictive, and its so true. When I run out, or can’t find it, I get panic attacks. :/

10) I eat all organic meat. I won’t touch commercial meat at all. And I truly wish that everyone out there would educate themselves on the kinds of animal abuse they are funding everytime they visit Mcd’s, or visit their local grocery store.

Important- plz read! I no longer have a P.O. box, so please don’t mail me sexy things….unless you want my postman to have some fun with what you send me lol. The p.o. box was getting expensive, so I had to get rid of it, especially with tax-time coming (otherwise known as the time of the year in which I become the most suicidal – JKS).

Also, I’m going to be doing a new youtube vid, answering any and all questions I’ve been posed in the past, as well as new ones…so if you want to know anything about me, or have a shoutout in the vid, please send me your questions! Either via MFC mail, Facebook PM or email: spexyashleigh@gmail.com

I’m really hating my underarm burn. Its still hurting so I may have to go to the clinic and have it looked at. I’m putting aloe straight from the plant on it, as well as Polysporin but its not feeling better…if anything, its feeling worse. Blah. I still don’t get how a tshirt can cause such ugly, painful damage to my sweet sweet underarms

Also – What dress do you guys like more? I’m shooting a close family friends wedding next month and I need to order a new dress for it. I know they’re not the hottest of dresses, but like I said, I’m shooting the wedding so I can’t have anything thats like, super short like I’d normally wear to a wedding so I need something semi casual but pretty. Which one do you like the most?

I can’t decide. They’re both kinda retro-looking, which I love. And both of them I can wear again like, anywhere so….I need yer opinions! xoxo

K so another reason why Evanescence sucks: I wore my Evanescence concert tee to bed last nite, and while I was sleeping (probably slept funny) the armpit sleeve thing must have rubbed up against my armpit and got kinda wrapped around it and look at what it did:

IT GAVE ME RUGBURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up and was like “why does my armpit hurt?!” and took off my shirt and looked down and saw that the bitch burned me!!!! It hurts soo bad. Anyone who’s had rugburn or any kind of like…friction burn knows what I’m talking about. I put some Polysporin on it so hopefully it heals fast but WTF! Evanescence went from hurting my poor little ears to attacking my poor little armpit. Amy Lee: watch your back lady – I’ll kick your armpit so hard it’ll knock your arm clear off your body and then I’ll punch you in the box with your own arm!!! bwahahaha. Seriously It hurts, kiss it bettah.

Today in my chatroom, the discussion turned to “what is it like to be a camgirl.” I’ve been thinking about writing a blog to describe to all of you what life is like on this side of the computer screen, but have been putting it off because I don’t want to be seen as negative, ungrateful or any of that- but after talking to some gents today, and realizing that alot of you men out there are super curious about what my life is like- here goes.

Well a bit of back history I suppose would be good- how did I get into camming? Well, back in 2006, after getting out a serious long-term common law relationship, I’d started watching more porn, and…well you know how it is when you get out of a long relationship I found the Camz Network through an adult website, and thus found my favorite pornstar- Naughty Allie. She was so pretty, so hot…had a great personality. I used to watch her Tuesday and Thursday free camshows on there (I don’t think she does them anymore) and I was always in awe of her and what she was doing. I spent quite a long while watching her and finally one day decided that “hey, I could do this”. So when school started up again that September, I joined that Camz network, and started doing my first camshows. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous about being on cam and loved the attention. It didn’t hurt that it helped pay my school bills as well. After a few weeks of camming on there, I decided to leave it, and find another network that better suited my interests. Not that there was anything bad with Camz (I’m still a model on there today) but I wanted to see what else was out there. I found myself on another group of sites (the SNR sites) and have been there for going on four years! And since then, I’ve also been on a couple of other websites, including my most recent addition, MFC, where I’ve met all of you guys who are reading this right now.

So to describe what the camming lifestyle is…ah where to begin. I have to say that everyones experience is slightly different- alot of girls really love the camming lifestyle, but I feel that far too many (mainly ones in poorer countries and girls who are run by studios) really don’t like it. You can tell what girls enjoy it, and which ones don’t….you know what I mean. My day basically starts off like this: Wake up. Drink my diet coke (lol) while checking emails from fans, customers, etc. Then I hop in the shower, do my thang, and then spend about an hour (yes a full hour) getting my makeup perfect, hair straightened, and choosing an outfit. Then I hop online and spend my day or nite with you boys! I finish my “shift”, run the errands I need to run, and then hit the sack. Sounds really simple and easy right? Wrong. I get the “oh its gotta be easy money” comment each and every single day. And sure, in theory it IS easy money…dance on a webcam…masturbate in private…have guys drooling over you…for cash? Its every guys fantasy. I also get told “oh if I had tits and a pussy, I’d be doing the same thing you are doing”. And sure…unless you’re a prude, or have higher morals for yourself (lol) then yeah, it seems like the best job in the world. And in most ways- it is. I love it. I love the people I meet, and the friends I’ve made over the years. I love knowing when I log on, that I’m going to get to hang out with some of the funniest, coolest and nerdiest people I know. I have the best fans in the world, hands down. They make me laugh so hard, and really do everything they can to make me feel special and appreciated. (you all know who you are.)

On the flipside to this greatness though…is the ugly and sometimes unbearable side to camming. As with any job out there, there is definitely a negative side to camming. We’ll start with the reputation. I get called a bitch and a whore each and every single day. I get called fat, and ugly every single day…even if it isn’t true, there are guys out there who still seem to think it is. In the past four years, I’ve been told to kill myself, been told that I deserve to rot in hell, and that my parents should be ashamed of my existence. To be a camgirl you have to have thick skin, otherwise the comments and the backlash will eat you up. I know that I should ignore the nameless, faceless twats of the interwebs, but sometimes…things like that hurt. Its not easy going to your place of work, and being degraded and treated like trash all day, especially when I try to uphold a certain level of integrity with what I do. The fat thing I can deal with…because its obviously not true. (Unless 120lbs these days is whats considered to be obese)…the ugly thing…whatever. But being called a whore is what really cuts me, because I am probably the most prudish person I know. I don’t have sex, like ever. I don’t have one nite stands. I won’t even have sex with a guy until we’re in a steady, committed relationship. And furthermore, when it comes to camming….I’m far from slutty. I’ve literally seen camgirls play mini golf using their snatch, a handful of golfballs and a makeshift hole made out of a cardboard box. I’ve seen girls shove their entire fist up their ass. I’ve seen them defecate and urinate on cam for 2 dollars. Me? I barely get naked in freechat!!! So to have someone come into my chatroom and tell me that my slutty existance should make me ashamed…sucks. And I must say that I’m trying not to whine, because yes, I put myself in this position…but the judgements cast upon me are not fair. It’d be like me calling anyone who works for minimum wage lazy….just an unfair judgement. And the members that come into my room, treating me like I owe them something…like they’re entitled to free shows because they have a 12 inch dick (insert eye roll here) or because they’re horny…like give it up guys. I cam to make a living. If I wanted to get naked for free, I’d be naked all day long! lol Another hard part of my job…is regarding family. On one hand, I have to lie to those closest to me about what I do for a living because I know it would kill them if they knew otherwise. I hate that. And when family/friends DO find out, they make my life hell. I’ve been taunted, blackmailed and bribed, harassed and had demands made….all by my closest family and friends. My own family has used my job as a source of hilarity in their own lives. I can no longer go to family reunions because far too many people know about it. I’ve had good friends attempt to blackmail me into giving them free shows. They threaten and taunt me, treating me like a slut. The people that are supposed to care about me and support me…treating me like I’m their sexual entertainment…hurts bigtime. Its just not an easy thing to deal with. Its like once they find out, I’m no longer their friend, I’m just the pornstar. I’ve gone over to friends homes (guy friends), to go chill with some beer and play some video games…only to have them do nothing but talk about my job and if I could get naked for them sometime on webcam. Sucks.

And again I must re-iterate that I am in no way trying to sound whiny or ungrateful – I’m simply trying to make the men of the world who use these camsites understand that us camgirls ARE people too. We turn off our computers, and go on with our lives. We do things that everyone else does…we eat, we shop, we watch movies, we work, we have pets, we poop and we sleep. We’re human beings with families, and with feelings. I have such respect for those gentlemen who come into my chatroom every single day and encourage me to be myself, because thats what brings the most joy into my day. When I got into camming, I knew that if I didn’t do things my way, that the industry would chew me up and spit me out. I see so many girls have their self esteem broken, who do get into drugs, and who end up being stuck camming five years later and hating it. If you love what you do, keep doing it…and I knew that if I had to pretend to be someone I’m not when I turned on that webcam, then I’d end up hating it in the end. I can go on cam, and know that people appreciate ME…and not just the tits/ass/slutty persona that alot of girls take on. So for that- I thank you, because without the dorks who get me, I’d probably not be here camming today. I started out just wanting to pay for my education and here I am, almost four years later and not able to get out of this industry- not because I don’t like it, but because I’m addicted to the fun that I get to have with my fans. I’ll probably be on the internet until the day that I die…maybe not getting naked, but certainly will be around to maintain the friendships I’ve gained from my experiences with you boys. I will stop rambling now because I’ve either put you to sleep, annoyed you with any negativity in this entry, or made you tear up from all of my lovin on you nice boys (I’m talking about you OrangeBoy- I know you’re crying on the other side of this computer lol)

Anyhoo, thats my thoughts/rambling for tonite. I’m going to try to hop on in a bit to say hellooos but we’ll see…I ate some chocolate cake tonite which was a BAD idea. My tastebuds adore chocolate…my stomach rejects it. Blah :/ Okeys, ttyls! <3

K so its been forever and a day since I’ve blogged. I’ll try to get through this without any typing errors because one of my hands is freezing to the point where it is numb, and the other one is fine…weird eh? Its so fuggin cold today…and rainy…damp…brrrr. I had such a craptacular day yesterday, spent all day sick. Two nites ago when I logged off MFC to make dinner, I whipped up a quick BLT. Thing is, I used Schnieders bacon, instead of the normal organic bacon I buy because I didn’t have time to run all the way downtown to my organic market this week because of the move so I picked up some regular commercial meat from Sobeys. Anyways, its the first time in forever that I’ve eaten commercial meat so my body must have like…taken a beating from all of the chemicals and hormones and shiz. I woke up an hour later, and was sick all nite and most of yesterday. I first thought “oh no, listeria…” but…I honestly just think it was my body not being used to commercial crap. So I’m off meat for a few days, threw out the rest of my Sobeys meat and am going to head downtown this weekend to buy my normal stuff. :/

So anyways, I’m glad to be all settled in now!!! Loving the new place! I still have to give you guys a tour sometime! I might do a bath show later in the week too, although I no longer have the jacuzzi Regular old, standard bathtub for me now! lol.

Ok I am seriously freezing so I’m gonna jump in said bathtub and warm up…before my fingers fall off lol. <3

I’m back online guys! I’m so sorry I’ve been m.i.a. but its been a crazy few days! My dad flew over and helped me move…it went pretty well but omg..longest day ever lol. I’m so sore right now from lifting and carrying so much shit. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck! But everything is moved in now, just dropped my dad off at the airport and he’s on his way home now. I’ve been unpacking and stuff like crazy and only have a lil bit left…hopefully by the end of the weekend I’ll be done it all, so Monday I should be back to camming!!! I can’t wait to finish getting set up so I can snap some pics to post of the new place! Hope you guys missed me because I missed you…see you soon. xoxo