Ok, so like a week or two ago, I went to a few car dealerships with my gf because she was in the market to upgrade her car. We browsed around, took a few test drives and then an SUV caught my eye at Kia. Now, I don’t drive at all…I don’t even have my license (its expired, just gotta go get it renewed)…but this car was like ZOMGGOTTAHAVEIT! lol. I made my friend take it out for a test drive and I fell in love with it. Its a 2010 Kia Sportage LX. Fully loaded, only 22k km on it. Great price. I called my dad, and he said he’d sign for it in his name since my license is expired so I can’t right now, and he’d switch it over to my name once I got that taken care of. So I went into the dealership to ask about financing and applied…but was rejected because of how I make my money. Since I work for a US company (mfc) and I’m canadian and am not given actual pay stubs, the banks aren’t willing to trust me. Basically my income looks shady, and they don’t want to back me up in case I’m doing something illegal (ie. escorting) Apparently strippers have this same issue. So I went and talked to the manager of the dealership to try to explain my situation and explain what I do for a living (btw he thought it was AWESOME and asked if guys can go on webcam too LOL) and after discussing it a bit, he told me he’d talk to the owner of the dealership. Apparently sometimes the owner of the dealership will offer private loans to people like me, ie. strippers because he knows we’re good for the money, its just impossible to get banks or loan people to see that. So they were going to discuss whether they could work something out for me. WELL….I got the call today, and the good news is- they’re going to help me out. Bad news- I need to come up with a $5000 deposit upfront before I can sign anything and take it home. They need to know I’m legit and not just some random biotch trying to snag a car only to default on payments. So I need to come up with $5000 asap.

SO….I’m thinking of holding a “Help buy Ashy a car” fundraiser for this weekend. All tokens donated will go towards this deposit, and I’ll be offering a ton of goodies and prizes and stuff…and I’ll be on cam nonstop til I hit it. I know its alot of money but I really do need a car. I’m hoping to work on starting up my photography business this year and I can’t do that without a car. Not to mention, having a vehicle so I can go visit family would be awesome…I moved all the way to Ontario so I could be close to family and I’ve only seen them like twice since I’ve been back. So I’m going to do whatever I can to get this car, and hopefully it happens. I’ll be posting more info on this weekends fundraiser when I figure out the details but stay tuned because there’s going to be ALOT of stuff to be won!

btw, here is a pic of the car:

isn’t it so pretty!???

So- thats the news of today. I’ve been excited and giddy all afternoon thinking that this goal of mine might be accomplished really soon…gahhh! Anyhoo just wanted to share my news and let you know about this weekend! xoxo

There is nothing I can’t take more than being made to feel not good enough, or that I’m not doing good enough of a job. You can call me a whore, a slut, fat, ugly, worthless – ANYTHING- but I cannot handle it when someone tells me I don’t do good enough of a job.

Now I am far from perfect – no one is – but I work the hardest that I possibly can as a camgirl. Being a camgirl is a 24/7 job, we are always on call, always working behind the scenes and always striving to be the epitome of sex, style, class and personality. We need to have it all, and be everything you, as the viewer, needs us to be. But the moment we falter, the moment we get overwhelmed with work, with life…and you feel like we’re not doing a good enough of a job for you, all of a sudden we’re horrible at our job. And tonite, I got publically called out for what someone felt wasn’t good enough. He felt the need to blast me online in front of all my colleagues, my fans, my closest friends online – all because I hadn’t gotten his custom content (that he won in the fall during one of my prize giveaways) to him yet. I felt this judgement was pretty unfair considering a) I am still waiting for him to tell me what he wants in his custom content (to the guy in reference – when I ask you what you want in an email, its best to just tell me instead of telling me to “just check your mfc mail history”…gets the job done alot quicker, especially considering I get literally dozens of emails a day and sometimes…just sometimes…one or two goes overlooked) and b) when he won this custom content, it was days before my summer vacation, during which I came down sick and spent the next several weeks in and out of the hospital, back and forth between doctors offices and getting tests done and being put on new medications that literally left me in bed because they made me so sick. Followed by struggling to cam as much as I could so that I could make up for the time lost on cam, because unfortunately us camgirls don’t get sick days and if we are too sick to get on the computer, we lose income. It took me until November to catch up on my bills. Mix that with the holiday season (first time in years being home for xmas, so sorry, I made that a priority) and bam – there goes an email missed. I’m sorry you feel I jipped you. I’m sorry you felt the need to take it to twitter to blast me publically. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy with life and just trying to keep it together enough to pay my bills and try to make the hundreds of guys I cater to happy…but I can’t and won’t apologize for not being perfect. I can’t do it all. And like I’ve said, I’m happy to do your content, as soon as you let me know what you want to see in said content.

I’m sorry guys for the rant…like I said, I can handle being called alot, but being treated like I am a horrible camgirl…can’t stomach that. Its New Years Eve and instead of being with my friends in the living room to celebrate, I’m hiding out in the bathroom writing this blog because I can’t relax and can’t enjoy my night until I’ve gotten this all off my chest. I have to speak up when it concerns my work as a camgirl because frankly, camming is my life. You guys are my life. I do the best that I can and if thats not enough, then maybe you should move on to a camgirl who CAN be perfect for you and get everything done on time, even if life hands her chaos. No disrespect to the person in question, I’m happy to get your content sent to you and I’m only an email away when you’re ready and able to let me know what you want to see. And hopefully this blog doesn’t offend anyone, or make me seem like a bitch. Certainly not my intent, just trying to clear my name and vent a bit because I feel like I was mistreated tonite. Happy New Year to everyone, and please make sure to drive safely (no drinking and driving now! )

Well its New Years Eve and wow the year flew by!! I can’t believe that in 12 hours its going to be 2012! And you know what that means- my annual New Yrs resolution list! Lets recap last years resolutions and if I accomplished them:

1) Move home to Ontario to be closer to family. And I’ve given my notice at my apartment which means I have to be moved out by March 31…so the ball is moving! I certainly moved home! And very happy here!

2)Become debt free. I need to get rid of my debt. I have about…ehh 35k between my student loans, debt from my last relationship, a credit card that got racked up trying to move here in the first place, and a few other small debts that are just a pain in my ass. I need to eliminate this, because I have huge dreams of buying my first home, buying a car…going back to school…etc. So this year, its all I’m going to focus on, after I settle into my new place. Well…I didn’t accomplish this entirely but I DID make progress. I’m about 1/3 of the way away from being debt free.

Sooo…all in all, not a bad year. It was probably my best year in all ways – financially, emotionally…I hit a lot of goals, and made a lot of things happen. It was also a bit of a rough year, starting with my surgery in the winter, and then being sick with anxiety and stomach issues throughout the year but I’m ending the year feeling healthy and having made some progress I think…and my progress and work with my health will continue to next year. So my resolutions for 2012:

1) Get debt free. This is a priority and will hopefully happen within the first couple months of 2012.

2)Be healthy, in all ways possible. Continue to go to therapy, and continue to work on de-stressing my life so that I can get my stomach and anxiety problems under control. This includes taking more time for myself, doing more things for myself that are fun and relaxing and surrounding myself with positivity only.

3)Visit two new places. I said two because one is already set in motino (Vegas) so I want to make it two this year, perhaps a trip at the end of the year.

4) Get my license and buy a car. It just needs to happen lol

5)Save up enough for a down payment on a house. I don’t need to buy a house in 2012, but I want to at least have enough saved up for when I’m ready to buy one.

6)Be top 20. I’ve wanted it since I started on MFC over two years ago and this year is my year to hit it. I’m going to need everyones support for it, but if we can work together, its an accomplishment we and I can achieve!

So those are my resolutions. We’ll check back in 12 months to see if I accomplished them Want to wish everyone a very happy and safe New Years!!!! <3

Another Christmas is over and gone, and we’re heading towards 2012…this year flew by! This year was my first time going home for the holidays in three years, so I was excited beyond belief. The last several weeks have been leading up to this holiday and you all know just how much I was anticipating being home with my family. It was truly amazing, but bittersweet too. My youngest brother is currently working and living in the Congo until February and wasn’t able to make it home. He’s living in the middle of chaos and war and conflict and my whole family is on edge every single day hoping and praying he’s safe. We were able to call him and had him on speakerphone so we could all talk to him but it wasn’t the same. He told us that his compound is currently surrounded by army tanks to keep protestors and angry civilians out. Its comforting to know he’s being protected but scary to think that he needs to be protected at all. He’ll eventually need to leave the compound to fly home, so we’re scared for that day to happen. Keep your prayers for him coming because he needs them greatly.

So I made it home to my familys home and spent Christmas eve with everyone. My two other brothers, my nieces and nephew, my brothers spouses and my youngest brothers girlfriend spent the day with us even though my brother wasn’t there. We all ate a delicious dinner together (thanks mom!) and then went to church for their Christmas eve service. I didn’t burst into flames upon arrival so my soul must not be doing that bad After church, we all came home and opened gifts together. It was an amazing day and night and I feel so blessed to have had this time with them, even though my time was short. I ended up coming back home on Christmas day so I could get back to work and get back to life. Miss the family already but it was great to see everyone.

My moms tree

Talking to my brother in the Congo

Me helping the girls open their gifts! Don’t mind my brothers arm lol

Abbie and Bella enjoying their goodies

I had such a fantastic holiday and I hope that everyone else had a great Christmas full of family, friends, love and FOOOOOOD LOL. <3

I’ve finally gotten around to blogging about my Niagara trip- I know, I’m a lazy ass. But in my defense, right after I got back, it was the middle of the holiday season so I just chose to immerse myself in merriment instead of blogging

My trip to Niagara was fantastic. It was for only two days, but I made the most of my time there and my #1 priority was to RELAX. My therapist has been telling me to make more time for myself and do things that I love and that relax me, so I did. She knows I’m a workaholic and thinks its adding to me anxiety and stress level, so this trip was necessary.

I arrived in the early afternoon and checked into my hotel room. I always visit the same hotel everytime I go there…best hotel by far, and the service I get there is amazing. Not to mention, the rates on the suites in the winter are sooo cheap and the restaurant is amazing, as is their spa. I swear, they know me by name there haha. Here is some pics of the view from my room:

My first nite there, I just wanted to unwind and relax…it was a drizzly nite anyways, perfect nite to sit in and chill. I ordered room service (roasted salmon with a really fancy salad) and then two desserts because hey, I was on vacation (AND it was nearing cake time anyways haha) The desserts were AMAZING. I got this white chocolate tower, it had phyllo and in between the phyllo was white chocolate cream, with raspberries on top, and a passionfruit sauce thing. Also got creme brulee of course, its my fav Pix:

The hotel was also decked out for Christmas, so I had to take a few pics. Hugest gingerbread house ever, and their gorgeous (albeit fake) tree:

Later that nite I was feeling like having a drink, but since the lounge/bar in the hotel was closed early, I figured I’d hop on over to the casino to grab a drink. It was just down the street so only took a few minutes to walk over. I went in, grabbed a drink and figured, “hey, I’m here, might as well play a few games before I leave”…so I headed on over to the roulette table and figured I’d give it a shot. My first $4 bet I ended up winning over $80!!! I was so excited and was like I’M OUTTA HERE! lol. I cashed out, finished my drink and went back to my hotel to sleep.

The next day I went down to the spa in my hotel for some girly time. Got a massage, and a facial (stop laughing pervs lol) It was amazing, and definitely needed After that, I went over to Clifton Hill, which is the strip of touristy type stuff. I went to the Hershey store and got some yummies, and went to a wax museum and a mirror maze. Did a bit of shopping as well. Had some people take some pics of me when I found something cute or funny to pose with so here ya go!

Me and a mountie statue!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE X 2! LOL. This was in the wax museum, in the Dr. Doolitle scene. Had to get someone to take a pic since we all love mooses so much

After all of my walking around, I went back to my hotel to change for dinner. I had a reservation at the revolving restaurant in the Skylon Tower, which overlooks the falls. I got there and got taken up the elevator to the top and was seated. I wanted to get soup and a salad, nothing heavy since I had plans to go ice skating afterwards but when the waiter came to take my order, he told me that I had to order more food than that. I was like uhh wtf? He said the restaurant had a $40 minimum per person, and since my soup and salad amounted to only $20, I had to order more or leave. I was so effin pissed off…I’d understand it MAYBE if the restaurant was full and they wanted to maximize profits, but the restaurant was nearly empty! I made sure to tell him it was a crappy way of doing business and that I’d make sure that everyone I knew would be informed not to eat there and then was escorted to the elevator. I went back to my hotel and just ordered room service again because I was in no mood to go find another place to eat after that lol.

My last day there, I only had a few hours in the morning to do stuff before my train left, so I headed back out to Clifton Hill because I wanted to take a morning ride on the SkyWheel. Its this huge ferris wheel overlooking the falls. Very beautiful and a great way to end the vacay.

After that I had to pack up and head over to the train station, but not without stopping by the falls for a few quick pics:

All in all it was a fantastic time. Got lots of rest, lots of fun and lots of relaxation- mission accomplished

I’m sitting here waiting on my chicken to finish cooking. Its taking its sweet ass time, and I’m frustrated because my tummy NEEDS FOODZ NAOWWWWWW.

I gotta say, last nite on cam was AMAZING. I am still just in shock over the tip love that happened…omg it was insane! And it put me into the top 100, which is super awesome! I didn’t make top 50 last month like I was hoping so this month I really REALLY want to work hard and get my bum in there! I think we can do it

I got my two trees snuck in! My landlord doesn’t let real trees in my building so I had to sneak them in late at night lol. It took awhile, and made a huge mess but its done and the trees look lovely If you haven’t seen them yet, hop on over to my MFC chatroom to check them out I went to my PO box today and picked up my first two presents to put under the tree in my camroom, so excited!! I absolutely love this holiday, its so merry and magical!

Next week I’m going to be taking a short trip to Niagara Falls. It’ll be my first trip there in three years and I’m super pumped! I might make an appearance on cam from my hotel room, so be sure to check my twitter for times Anyhoo, time to check on dinner again, hopefully its done because I’m staaaaarving!!! xoxo

When’s the last time you ran? Uhhhhh…..*thinks really hard*…..I honestly cannot remember. I don’t run. I don’t exercise (apart from my pole dancing). I’m a lazy poo-head.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? Some do, but not because I wore them out, its because its apparently stylish lol.

What are you dreading right now? I’m REALLY dreading deciding whats for dinner. I have no idea. I’m so uninspired when it comes to food right now, and nothing sounds appetizing. Blah.

Do you celebrate 420? Nope, I don’t do drugs. And yes, weed is a drug.

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Sometimes! I love when I get full sleep, but sometimes its interrupted by any of my four pets. Sleep is heavenly though.

If anyone came to your house on your “lazy days” what would ya’ll do? Sit around in our PJ’s, eat junk food and channel surf. Its also heavenly.

Who last grabbed your ass? Oh jeez….can’t remember. Its been awhile lol. Probably some guy on the cruise haha.

Have you ever been on your school’s track team? Never. See question #1.

Do you own a pair of Converse? Negative.

Did you copy and paste this survey? Sure did!

Do you eat raw cookie dough? Ewwww no. Thats seriously gross.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? lmao never. I have tried to stick my hand up the opening to try to grab snackies though.

Don’t you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? Totally. Songs I really love tend to get overplayed so quickly. Sigh.

Do you watch Trading Spaces? I don’t even know what that is…a tv show?

How do you eat oreos? I just bite em! No twisting/licking…

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? Yeah

Are you cocky? Nah not really. I’m confident but definitely not cocky. The difference between being confident and cocky is knowing your amazing in your own right, rather than thinking that you’re more amazing than everyone else. I think I can be pretty rad, but I’m not extra special or anything like that.

Could you live without a computer? Hell no. I’d go crazy. And I’d be broke!

Do you wear your shoes in the house? Never. Shoes stay at the front door!

Who or what sleeps with you? Two cats and two dogs. Its a big furry pile of love

At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? I was like 9 years old…my dad took me aside and told me the truth. I cried. My soul was shattered. I really should kick him in the shin for that one.

How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? 4 house phones, 2 cell phones.

What do you do when you’re sad? Cry. Thats about it haha.

Who would you call first if you won the lottery? No one. I don’t think I’d tell a living soul if I won the lottery. My extended family can be douchebags and I just KNOW that if I won the lottery, all of them would be calling me and acting all buddy-buddy trying to get $$$$ from me. Eff that. I’ll be a millionaire on my own!

Last time you saw your best friend? A few days ago

Are you in high school? I haven’t been in highschool for nearly a decade….and now I feel old. Sigh.

What jewelry are you wearing? None at the moment, aside from my navel and nose ring.

Is anyone on your bad side now? It takes alot to get on my bad side but currently no one is.

What’s the first thing you do when you get online? In this order: 1)Facebook 2)Gmail 3)Twitter …

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? Yep!!! I have a love/hate relationship with it though.

How do most people spell your name? Uhhh….the way it IS spelled? I do get alot of Ashley though.

Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? Sure, but not out in public. Boy tshirts are very comfy!

Where do you work? At home/on the lovely Myfreecams.com!

What are you doing tomorrow? Watching DWTS and camming!

Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? Hell no. I don’t think anyone is.

Favorite name for a girl? I really love the name Hayden.

Favorite name for a boy? Ethan

Will you keep your last name when you get married? Yes. I don’t really like the idea of losing my identity simply because I chose to marry.

When was the last time you left your house? A couple days ago. I don’t leave the house very often lol.

Do you return your cart? Yep, I don’t drive so I don’t need to take the cart outta the store at all

Do you have a dishwasher? Sure do!

What noise do you hear? The wind…very windy day outside! Also the sound of UKgameGIRL because I’m enjoying watching her frantically run around the house looking for socks lol.

Would you survive in prison? Due to my size, I would have to say no. But if my spirit and my attitude counted for anything, I might do ok.

Who is the youngest in your family? My youngest brother.

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? Me. Definitely me. I always pack at least double what I actually need to wear.

Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Uhhh no.

What’s the last thing you purchased? Dinner last nite.

Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? No? I’m 27, can handle my own finances thanks lol.

What brand are your pants right now? Ummm well I’m wearing pj pants, and they are from La Vie En Rose. *shrugs*

Ever been to Georgia (the state)? I have! Drove through it and stayed overnight on the way to Florida!

What irritates you most on the internet? Cheap horny losers. Wish they’d stop being losers and either get laid, or get jobs.

What brand is your digital camera? Nikon! Well my DLSR is Nikon, my P&S is Sony.

Do you watch movies with your parents? No, I don’t live close to my parents so I only see them maybe twice a year.

What song best describes your life right now? Oh jeez, this question…I hate this question…I can’t answer it because I don’t think there IS a song that describes my life.

Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? Define expensive. My favorite perfume is Ralph by Ralph Lauren, and its like $60.

Are you taking college classes right now? Negative.

Do you like sushi? Negative.

Do you get your hair cut every month? Nope, every two months.

Do you go online everyday? Every single day without fail.

Will you pass this survey on to 5 people? Nope. But feel free to borrow it!

Hey guys <3 Laying in bed, thought I’d catch you all up to speed on how I’m doing health wise. I’ve been on my Cipralex for almost three weeks now, and I have to say I’m feeling alot better. Most of the nasty side effects have disappeared thankfully, however the big one thats remaining is my exhaustion. I don’t know if its a side effect, or if my body and mind is now so relaxed that I’m just feeling tired all of the time. My whole life I’ve been one of those people who don’t sleep much, who have issues getting to sleep in the first place because my mind is always racing and thinking, and I’m always worrying about work/money/life. But since I’ve been on these meds, I haven’t had that issue…which is good because it means the medication is working for me and taking away anxiety, but I don’t know how to deal with having a quiet mind and a body that is finally ready to rest itself. I feel like I’m slacking on life, on work, on you guys…because as the day goes on, and it starts getting late (which is when I normally hop on cam) my body just shuts down and I can’t stay awake. Good problem to have I suppose and I should be thankful that my body is finally getting the rest that I’ve neglected it for the last 20+ years but its ruining my MFC mojo dammit! lol. I’m trying to avoid caffeine as well (diet coke) because the caffeine makes me extra jittery. Le sigh…not sure how to remedy this problem. But I’ll figure something out!

I’ve gone to two therapy sessions in the last two weeks and I have to say I’m rather enjoying them. I don’t talk to anyone about my issues or thoughts because I don’t have many people that I’m super close to thanks to my being a camgirl (you tend to lose friends being a web whore unfortunately) but having someone there who won’t judge, who is removed from my life and situation who can give me advice and not be biased…yeah it helps. She’s a very nice lady, with the most soothing voice ever lol. I leave feeling relaxed, and she’s also given me tools to help me calm down when I get anxious. I think it will benefit me longterm for sure.

I’ve been loving the Halloween season so far! The weather is getting frigid very fast, and the leaves are nearly all off the trees. I can tell winter is rapidly approaching! I’ve been having a blast dressing up on MFC for you boys too, I love Halloween costumes! I’m super pumped about my dorky Angry Birds costume which I’ll be wearing on Halloween hehehe. Anyhoo I’m gonna go shower and figure out dinner (so happy to be eating again!) – I hope to see you boys tonite! xoxoxo

oh god no! can you just imagine?!

Hey boys! Wanted to tell you guys how much I missed you last week while I was away at the cottage, and post a few pics for you guys to see!

Me and my friends stayed in Tobermory, Ontario (google it if you’ve never heard of it lol) – basically the middle of nowhere lol. It was great though…surrounded by nature, and good times, and an endless supply of beer – heaven haha. I had a great time.

But onto suckier news…my health issues have flared up again Same issues as in June, stomach problems, pain and nausea/vomiting nonstop due to my anxiety. I’ve been in bed for days and have been struggling to get it together long enough to get stuff done. I did make it to the doctors today, and he’s put me on Cipralex to treat my anxiety (got diagnosed with GAD- Generalized anxiety disorder) and I start my meds tonite. I’m very apprehensive and afraid of the side effects, mainly being hit with even MORE nausea because if there’s one thing I can’t handle, its being sick. I’d rather experience excruciating pain than be ill. Blah Anyways, I wanted to let you guys know that I haven’t forgotten about you, or fallen off the face of the earth…I’m just trying to deal with my issues and get them under control because they’re really taking me out of the game right now. Thank you for your well wishes and emails/messages of concern – means so much. I’ll be online when I can be, but I’m warning you guys now, I may be out of it a bit because I’m on heavy medications to combat my nausea and vomiting and paired with my new meds…eh I might be really slow. When I’m not online, I will be offering deals on my new cottage vids. 250tks for one or all 5 for 1000tks…huge savings off the normal online price, and offline tips will help keep me afloat while I try to take care of my body and my mind. Camgirls don’t get paid sickdays, so I’m going to try to keep them to a minimum :/.

Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble…I’m going to be heading to bed very soon. Hope to see you guys VERY soon <3